Stage mom of 16-year-old divorces husband via email, CC's his entire family and friend group: '[He's] unable to adapt to any change'

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    AITA for CCing all family, friends, and coworkers after my husband divorced me via email?
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    I (47F) woke up yesterday morning to an email from my husband of 21 years (50M) entitled " Working Things Out."
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    Very deceptive title because instead of arranging a meeting or even a phone call, my husband goes on a four paragraph soapbox speech about how marriage is supposed to be "for the most part" an in person commitment and that it pains him to say this but this cannot go on anymore.
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    He goes on in a very clinical detached tone to describe how us not speaking for a week before our big fight and then not hearing from me for the week afterwards is abandonment for him so he's filing for divorce.
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    He then asked me to tell me what things of mine I wanted him to ship and that he wants to do things fairly via mediation. Also said he'd only be responding to calls regarding our daughter and to contact his lawyer for everything else.
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    This is the straw that broke the camel's back for me. Because leading up to Thanksgiving he's already been complaining that he's spending the holidays alone and it's all my fault.
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    For a little context, I moved with my daughter (16F) from Kentucky to Atlanta three years ago because she wants to get into acting and singing. She's now attending a performing arts HS and trying to make a living acting. My husband was supportive at first- he sent in 60 applications to jobs in Atlanta, but even though he's been a manager at a motel for 13 years here, he only got entry level interviews.
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    My husband initially said there's FaceTime and he has airline points. But soon I saw how inflexible he was. Every conversation was unbearable because if I picked his brain, I knew I'd be running into a brick wall. Instead of learning to enjoy long distance, it was like " fulfilling marriage= long distance? Nope!"
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    He asked us to move back during the actor's strike. At that time, we had already agreed he could have with others as long as he fulfilled his other obligations. He agreed to our arrangement but dumped the woman after a month and got more petty, saying the women he wants wouldn't be into married men.
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    Our final fight was over when I said we were going to have a virtual Thanksgiving with my mom and wish her recovery from her surgery he said "why don't you come back and tell her in person?" He also said instead of me giving input over Christmas decorations to come back and do
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    it in person. He said he had more intimacy with the than me because it was IN PERSON and I called him a hospitality manager stereotype- unable to adapt to any change and stuck in his path.
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    The fury boiled over after his email and I replied and CCed the extended family, friends who only hear from him and his side, and his coworker/ friend of the family. Just to tell them that the man who says he's the peacemaker is divorcing me over email and that he's been seeing other women and saying that his one month fling with an fulfilling. was more
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    AITA? My only regret is that a friend's kid got a hold of the email and I've had to shield my daughter and explain that her dad is divorcing me.
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    Inkysquiddy YTA I mean to be fair you won't go see him in person. It was either going to be email or a phone call. His lawyer is probably advising him to get everything in writing in case you do something crazy, and you just obliged him.
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    metsgirl289 YTA for a million reasons the least of which is abandoning your husband because your 13 year old wants to act and misleading your friends and family into thinking he cheated on you. It doesn't even sound like you want to be married, other than the fact that he pays the bills.
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    katie-kaboom You abandoned your marriage to be a stage mom three years ago, agreed he could see other women after you did that, and now you're trying to shame him publicly for finally throwing in the towel? YTA, yes. I'm sure he'd be happy to divorce you in person, only you aren't even going home for Christmas so.
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    Obi-Juan_Valdez You're a trainwreck, and honestly a sh wife. YTA
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    [deleted] Yta. It's not that far from Kentucky to Atlanta. You can easily drive it in a day. Sorry you're losing your atm. I personally believe that you're living vicariously through your daughter.
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    AdAccomplished... You are not the victim here. I can't say your husband is without fault, but even in your telling of the story, it is all about you and your daughter and never about meeting him halfway or understanding his wants.
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    And your evil and dishonest move of saying 'Why don't you see other women for intimacy', then outing him to people unfamiliar with your arrangement as seeing other people for intimacy is awful. I hope that costs you in the divorce.
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    You are petty, dishonest, selfish, and manipulative. I would say to be a better person, but I doubt you have the self awareness to do so. YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA
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    kikivee612 YTA WTH did you expect? You took your daughter and moved so that she could pursue an acting career? You gave up a 21 year marriage for a pipe dream that will probably never happen. Of course he feels abandoned. He was! You have taken complete control of decision making in your
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    marriage and done what you wanted without even think8mg about how your actions would affect others. There's no reason you couldn't help your daughter. pursue acting from where you were. She could go to a performing arts school in TN, prepared for a college to major in theater in the town you were in and kept your family together. Your daughter would have been fine where you were.
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    You did this to yourself and you're on here playing victim acting all surprised that your husband accused you of abandoning him. I feel for him, I do. It almost makes me wonder how much your daughter really wants to act vs you reliving your dreams through her.

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